What Actually Happens at Dinner
Dinner is often picked for a first date, but recent data and expert comments show some real problems with this setup. A formal meal puts two people across a table for a long stretch. The only thing to do is talk, and many find this stressful. Licensed relationship therapists and dating coaches note that people feel under pressure to keep the conversation going. This can make the night feel like a job interview, as Jodie Milton, a certified intimacy coach, describes. She explains that a dinner situation can block real connection and makes it hard for two people to act naturally.
There is also the awkward bill at the end. Many viral TikTok and Reddit stories from 2024 and 2025 share how unclear money rules and expectations about splitting have led to embarrassment. Some people feel judged for what they order or uncomfortable working out who should pay. A feature in VICE from early 2025 called dinner dates full of etiquette problems. These range from confusion about tipping to trouble with food restrictions and the need to “perform” as your best self for hours.
A recent social media event made things worse. In late 2024, the “48 oysters” episode showed how a dinner date can get out of hand. This incident sparked discussion online about what is good behavior and what is too much on a first date. Many people on X and Instagram said they now see dinner as expensive and a source of stress.
Why People Want Something Different
In polls from late 2024 and early 2025, about 54% of singles said they would rather meet at a fast food place or a casual spot rather than dress up and go to a fancy meal. An even higher percentage of women, 66%, said they would say yes to a first date at McDonald’s, based on numbers from Delish and DatingNews.com . These figures show most people hope for a setting that is simple, easy, and low-pressure.
Surveys from OpenTable before Valentine’s Day 2025 show that while 61% are still open to eating out for a first date, many say they prefer something looser, such as a casual group outing instead of a traditional restaurant dinner. Among Gen Z, 70% said they are interested in group meals or less structured events . So even if eating out is common, the strict format of a dinner table is starting to slip.
Online, people post often about bad dinner dates. Reddit’s r/dating_advice features many stories about feeling trapped with someone for hours, bored, or uncomfortable. In one popular thread from 2025, a woman said she sat through a two-hour prix-fixe meal with someone who barely spoke and critiqued every dish. She felt stuck until the meal ended, wishing she had picked somewhere easier to leave.
When Your Date Has Plenty of Stories
Many people think a dinner is a safe bet for all first dates, but it often backfires in practice. Someone meeting an old high school friend, a neighbor’s cousin, or even dating an experienced man can feel boxed in by the dinner format. The social script expects you to sit still, maintain steady eye contact, and keep the talk smooth for hours. That is asking a lot from two people who might not have any natural flow yet.
Other types of dates bring a bit more freedom. For example, meeting at a food truck, getting ice cream, or playing mini-golf helps keep energy and conversation moving. The activity gives each person a chance to show different sides of themselves, which can lower the pressure. This makes it easier to see if you fit, without feeling like you are performing across a dining table.
The Search for Lower Stakes
As people moved through the pandemic, many tried dates that involve an activity, like taking a walk, going bowling, or visiting a gallery. Dating coach Blaine Anderson said in her 2025 columns that singles want to see if they have real compatibility outside of sitting at a table. She points out that activities or even sharing a meal at a fast food spot give people more things to talk about, and a way to leave if things do not go well.
Survey results from DatingNews.com back this. In late 2024 and early 2025, first date options like coffee shops, food trucks with a walk, or even movie nights at home, were chosen more often than formal dinners by men .
Fun Over Formality
Social media shows more interest in fast food, coffee meet-ups, mini-golf, trivia nights, and bakery dates. TikTok and Instagram Reels feature videos that poke fun at the awkwardness of dinner dates. One video from May 2025 got over four million views and argued people should pick anything but dinner for a first meet. Many comments agreed, especially among younger singles.
There has also been a 34% increase in bookings for larger Valentine’s outings, such as “Galentine’s Day” group meals. OpenTable reports more double dates as well, pointing toward a wish to meet new people in a way that feels safer and less intense .
Why Special Still Matters
Although most people say they want something simple, 81% still plan to try a new restaurant or activity for Valentine’s 2025, according to OpenTable . People want to mark the day, but without feeling trapped or forced into high stakes. They want the chance to have fun and try something new, but also to relax and leave if things are not working.
The Data Says: Simple Dates Work Better
Current numbers and stories point to a steady move away from formal dinners as a top choice for a first meeting. Structured meals leave people tense, bored, or embarrassed and make it hard to show who they really are. Coffee, a quick bite, or a shared activity feels easier, lighter, and safer for most people now. Many singles trust that sitting face-to-face for hours is rarely the best way to find connection.
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